Sarcy Susan
Sarcy Susan
I always knew those ante natal parenting classes were a waste of time but of course Susan (a perfectionist in parenting apparently) insists they are always a fantastic idea for parents to be.
Well Susan - I followed your advice. I didn't give the kids vodka to help them sleep - I didn't go to the shop and accidentally leave one there (admittedly I was tempted) - I didn't put a whole roast chicken in her bottle to fill her up and I didn't leave her in the bath alone at 3 days old to teach her how to swim. All which of course I wouldn't have known not to do if it wasn't for your expert advice.
You did claim that these classes will give parents 'every single bit of information' they need to know about how to get through motherhood. You even gave out leaflets at the end containing all the information from the class which tells me two things.. 1) deep down you knew no one was actually going to listen 2) you've definitely shipped your kids to boarding school if you have time to print out leaflets with colour coded notes.
Back to my original point Susan as I know you don't like to go off track.. you were right when you said to keep those wonderful time consuming colour coded notes because one day I might find myself reaching for them looking for an answer. Congratulations Susan today was the day. However after reading thoroughly over and over again about how I should sleep when the baby does (I'm sure the older two can look after themselves), not to have a hot drink near the baby incase it spills (like I actually manage to drink it while it's hot) and to always have the baby monitor on (because the piercing scream of a newborn needs the added touch of a microphone against your ear drum) yet I am struggling to find the information on how to go upstairs and brush my teeth with a dislocated knee, a newborn deciding my hair looks better out of my head, a 7 year old who desperately needs help collecting another gold brick on the Xbox because life isn't complete without it and a 4 year old who is hiding somewhere in the house decorating the walls with glue.
Where are you now Susan? I hope Elizabeth and Theodore (I presume that's their names) are having a wonderful time at boarding school and your husband isn't too late home to your mansion after a busy day being a CEO. If you could kindly let me know where in the leaflets the information I require is that would be great, failing that I live at number 6 if you wish to drop off some mouthwash for me.
Hooray for informative ante natal classes ✌🏼️
I always knew those ante natal parenting classes were a waste of time but of course Susan (a perfectionist in parenting apparently) insists they are always a fantastic idea for parents to be.
Well Susan - I followed your advice. I didn't give the kids vodka to help them sleep - I didn't go to the shop and accidentally leave one there (admittedly I was tempted) - I didn't put a whole roast chicken in her bottle to fill her up and I didn't leave her in the bath alone at 3 days old to teach her how to swim. All which of course I wouldn't have known not to do if it wasn't for your expert advice.
You did claim that these classes will give parents 'every single bit of information' they need to know about how to get through motherhood. You even gave out leaflets at the end containing all the information from the class which tells me two things.. 1) deep down you knew no one was actually going to listen 2) you've definitely shipped your kids to boarding school if you have time to print out leaflets with colour coded notes.
Back to my original point Susan as I know you don't like to go off track.. you were right when you said to keep those wonderful time consuming colour coded notes because one day I might find myself reaching for them looking for an answer. Congratulations Susan today was the day. However after reading thoroughly over and over again about how I should sleep when the baby does (I'm sure the older two can look after themselves), not to have a hot drink near the baby incase it spills (like I actually manage to drink it while it's hot) and to always have the baby monitor on (because the piercing scream of a newborn needs the added touch of a microphone against your ear drum) yet I am struggling to find the information on how to go upstairs and brush my teeth with a dislocated knee, a newborn deciding my hair looks better out of my head, a 7 year old who desperately needs help collecting another gold brick on the Xbox because life isn't complete without it and a 4 year old who is hiding somewhere in the house decorating the walls with glue.
Where are you now Susan? I hope Elizabeth and Theodore (I presume that's their names) are having a wonderful time at boarding school and your husband isn't too late home to your mansion after a busy day being a CEO. If you could kindly let me know where in the leaflets the information I require is that would be great, failing that I live at number 6 if you wish to drop off some mouthwash for me.
Hooray for informative ante natal classes ✌🏼️
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